Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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