If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
