We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Green mimosas i think yes
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
