I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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