you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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