I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
