yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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