So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
