i think i have herpe
just one?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
