tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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