Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
