Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
