I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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