and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
