For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
