I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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