Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
