also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
