Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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