Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
