so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think i got beer on your cat.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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