lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
