I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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