I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
