this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dicks are not precious.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
