I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
