Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
