The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize