he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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