Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
