Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
