I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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