He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
