double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
