how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
