He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
