oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
