Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
