I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
