Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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