Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
