I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
