this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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