Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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