I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
