I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
