i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize