help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
