Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
