well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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