beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need to sanitize my soul.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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