i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
