Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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