Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
