yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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